How Do I Know If I Am In A One-sided Relationship
A one-sided relationship contradicts all the principles of what is considered to be an emotional connection. It is the rupture of reciprocity and the violation of this perfect equilibrium that must form the relational substratum. Without a common commitment, without this spontaneous and authentic will of each one to take care of the daily details, with respect and affection, everything falls apart.
Now, the most complex part of all of this is that it took us a long time to make it happen. Because this wear and tear or this distance on the part of one of the members of the couple comes little by little, camouflaged (apparently) by the routine, the pressure of work and these external obligations which take time at home. Until the day when we finally realize that there is no more equity and even less presence.
Although we have our partner next to us, we feel a cold and emotional distance. This lack of affection and will is what shapes partiality. It is this scenario in which only one contributes, nurtures, and strives to keep the bond afloat. These types of dynamics are often defined as sick relationships. Let’s see why.
Unilateral relationship
One could define the unilateral couple in a very simple way. It is a couple in which a member invests more energy, will and time in the relationship. However, it is a much more complex reality because the causes which favor this situation can be multiple.
Sometimes you start a relationship where this dynamic is already showing up from the start and other times it’s something that comes over time. Either way, there is something obvious. A unilateral relationship is not healthy, it constitutes a very harmful situation for those who suffer it, for those who try to overthrow it, to support it at all costs by fighting for it …
This explains why we see them as disease links. Because the emotional and psychological overload that a single party generates to keep this boat afloat is often devastating.
It’s you who always ends up giving in
One of the great connoisseurs of emotional relationships and the most common dynamics between couples is Dr. John Gottman. His studies span decades, and his research in the so-called “love lab” has helped hundreds of people save relationships or turn the page.
One of his best-known books is undoubtedly Happy Couples Have Their Secrets . He stresses the need to reach agreements. If that doesn’t happen and it’s always one of the members who ends up giving in, the one who accepts and is silent, the one who puts the other first to save the relationship, something will happen. inevitable. The relationship will eventually break down.
If the ladder still falls on the same side and the same party wins, the other will experience a slow emotional suffocation in which self-esteem, dignity and even health vanish. These are very common situations in a one-sided relationship.
It is difficult for you to express your feelings and needs
One of the common characteristics of these types of links is the feeling of emptiness. There is something that is always missing is like being hungry and never feeling full. You can have your partner by your side, talk to him, make your life by his side every day and yet there is something wrong. It’s true that one person needs more than the other offers, but one-sided relationships are more dynamic.
That something wrong is an emotional block. It’s about expressing our feelings, thoughts and needs to each other and facing a wall. “It’s not a good time to talk about it, you always say the same thing, I don’t know what you expect from me. .. ”. These are the most common reactions. However, when our partner needs our support or affection, we don’t hesitate for a second to respond. To instantly satisfy their needs.
Your efforts are taken for granted (but don’t expect them from the other party)
If you have to pay for something and you do, that’s okay, what is expected of you. If a problem needs to be resolved, the same thing happens; like so many times. In this scenario that sets up a one-sided relationship, there is a passive part and a proactive part that ends up making an effort to cope with anything.
In addition, this party is expected not to protest or file a complaint. Because this is ultimately what is expected and what has always been done. Let’s be clear. As soon as this stuff is taken for granted and mutual actions are unrecognized, the relationship becomes bad. If we also assume that it is always someone who takes charge of an unforeseen task or event, then that bond is fatally injured.
One-sided relationship: exhaustion, contradiction, red flags we don’t want to see
Under these types of links, there are a lot of red flags that you don’t always want to see. And the reason why this happens is simple. You have to invest so much effort, time, and emotion that it costs a lot to give up. New opportunities continue to be offered. Love, dedication and patience continue to be combined while waiting for something to change.
But, of course, nothing changes and the mental and physical exhaustion is immense. The person falls all over the place, psychologically and even financially in many cases. We cannot forget that there are unilateral relations in which this bond begins only with selfishness and interests.
Each couple is a world, there is no doubt about it. But there is one rule of thumb that should never fail. To love is to find balance and reciprocity, it is knowing how to team up, it is taking care of others and joining forces, it is hoping that this relationship will last. If that fails, everything collapses; let’s not forget that.
Our thoughts There are many who seek perfection in a relationship. This idealistic approach is often accompanied by great intolerance.
