The Day I Let Go Of My Complexes And Felt Free

Few sensations can be as cathartic, satisfying, and liberating as letting go of your complexes. The expression of one’s own being and of “I love myself as I am” act as authentic weapons of power, as caresses for our self-esteem and as shields against empty criticism and comments. destructive. Until recently, the subject of complexes was a territory in its own right and very different from that of psycho-analytical jargon. A place where terms such as “the Oedipus complex”, “the Bovary complex” or “the Electra complex” gave rise to a kind of wild card or “garbage drawer”, where we tried to classify any behavior or personality trait.

“We shouldn’t eliminate our complexes, but come to an agreement with them, understand them and prevent them from directing our behavior.”

-Sigmund Freud-

The word “complex” was introduced by Carl G. Jung, and later popularized by Freudian psychoanalysis. However, behind this thick forest of terminologies and attempts to categorize human behavior,

Among the most basic goals of psychology, to detect and understand the origin of these responses generated by the mind against “alleged” defects and deficiencies self-perceived in  returns to remove the nails that secure the door of a attic which has been closed for a very long time. We are talking about a private space where we breathe an air that needs to be renewed, oxygenated by new approaches and by the light of good self-esteem.

You should know that it is not easy. The process of breaking up or reformulating these self-destructive thought patterns takes time and a great deal of therapeutic delicacy. Finally, as Freud once said, sometimes, behind a particular complex, a real trauma can hide.

Let’s analyze this topic in detail.

The origin of complexes: an existential labyrinth

It is curious to be interested in the etymology of these terms which we use so often. The word “ complex” comes from the Latin “complectere”, and means “to embrace”, “to include”. We are therefore talking about a kind of bear hug, which wedges us in its claws to then form a single being, a single entity in which predator and prey coexist.

Likewise, know that in all definitions, we are told that complexes feed on our own irrational thoughts. Phrases such as “I’m a whale because of all those extra pounds”, “I’m a coward, I’m an ostrich” or “I’m more than bad” are phrases that feed back the feeling of inferiority relentlessly.

However, there are nuances that it is important to clarify: these irrational thoughts often come from real, one-off and painfully specific situations. Most of our complexes originate from childhood. A family which devalues ​​its children, which hurts them verbally through irony or contempt, generates deep trauma.

Later, these traumas consolidate during adolescence. Lack of self-esteem and valid strategies for defending and coping causes the youngster to find himself confused and helpless in this almost wild world of middle school and high school. Places where any quirk, in particular physical, behavioral or even “inventive”, is often exploited and cruelly underlined.

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Say goodbye to feelings of inferiority

The feeling of inferiority is a virus to which it is important to develop good immunity. Walking on your life path with a fragile self-esteem and a confidence hidden in the attic of our mind generates serious consequences. Affective relationships, for example, can turn into real bonds of captivity, where one has power and the other is silent and accepts.

“We are no different from animals in our possibility of feeling complexes, whether they be superior or inferior.”

-Fernando Savater-

No one is worth more than you and you are no more than someone else. This is one of the best slogans to remember in everyday life, even if the paws of this bear that embraces us loves to remind us over and over how insignificant we are, we have flaws that dishonor us. and we don’t deserve to smile when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

This is not the right course to follow: it is necessary to fight against these thought patterns.

Some keys for change: yes to regained self-esteem!

There is no easy way. To regain our self-esteem, it is important to take a path full of zigzags and stones, where only will and courage allow us to reach the top. A place where, finally, we can shout: “I love myself as I am, I am good, I am a beautiful person, capable and worthy of building his happiness.”

• Complexes feed on self-deprecation by oneself. Sometimes this sense of inferiority is inoculated by a complex family, childhood or adolescence. Other times it can be innate, related to a personality type.

• Knowing why we think what we think and what caused us to develop these destructive complexes is also of great help.
• In addition, we must clarify something: the person who does not love himself and who devalues ​​himself is devalued. We have to change the speech, the attitude, the tone and the treatment. For this, the first thing to do is to stop comparing yourself to others: the only valid reference to refer to is YOURSELF.
• Express yourself. Find a way that works for you, through which you can reaffirm yourself, discover yourself, and love yourself. Sports, dancing, painting or writing are wonderful methods of channeling emotions.
• Think about your surroundings and the people you are connected to. Do they respect you? Do they allow you to be yourself? Are they doing you any good? … Sometimes, “recycling” those around us and the people around us allows us to regain our self-esteem and sets aside many complexes that others tended to strengthen in us.

To conclude, always remember that we are not in this world to suffer or to lock our wonderful essence of life into the prison of complexes. We deserve to be free, happy and authentic, and above all, to live our own reality, not the one that others decide for us.

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Images of Hilda, Emma Uber