What Is Addiction Personality Disorder?

Addiction personality disorder is based on “asking for permission to ask for permission”.

That is, it is a condition or an imbalance of a psychological / emotional type where one person depends too much on the other, especially on the spouse. Without it, she cannot meet her needs.

This problem tends to start in childhood, although the causes and triggers are still unknown.

We may think that it is more common in women, but it also affects men.

Addiction personality disorder is characterized by submission to the other person and a great fear of separation and abandonment from the person you love.

We then have “an excessive need for the other to take care of us” and this can take place in different contexts.

Characteristics of addiction personality disorder

According to the Mental Disorders Manual,  to be diagnosed with this imbalance, the patient must have at least five of these disorders:

– The difficulty in making decisions on a daily basis. Quite simply, not knowing what to eat, which route to take or what clothes to wear.

– The need to have the advice or the approval of his decisions, from his relatives. 

– Problems in assuming responsibilities during key moments.

– Difficulties in being able to speak in front of the other person, especially when they disagree.  This is due to the deep fear of being frowned upon or abandoned.

– The inability to start own projects or to do things “in your own way”, because lack of self-confidence affects judgment.

– Lack of energy or motivation to do things that we love (or that we liked),  especially if this has generated a problem or an argument in the past.

– The overwhelming need to feel protected and cared for by someone, regardless of their pride or dignity, as well as the things that one must do to successfully maintain this physical and emotional shelter.

– The discomfort or distress of being alone in the house because you feel a great fear of abandonment, or of not being able to take care of yourself on your own.

– The urgent search for a romantic relationship once one of them has ended, so as not to be left alone and receive the support and dedication that we believe we need.

– The unrealistic worry about things happening around them.  Everything is based on the fear of abandonment and the lack of protection.

– The decision to be passive concerning interpersonal relationships, that is to say not to make decisions concerning the couple or the family.

– Feeling helpless or disturbed when ending a relationship and being easily hurt by criticism or  disapproval from close people.

Certain behavioral criteria in the personality disorder due to addiction can be confused with other imbalances such as, for example, anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, panic attacks or certain phobias.

Addiction personality disorder is not something that develops in a matter of days, but is characterized by its “long duration”.

It is important to pay attention to the signs detailed above because we often do not realize what our loved ones are doing or what we can do on them ourselves.

If you suspect that your spouse, friend or loved one has more than five of the characteristics of addiction personality disorder, it is advisable that they start therapy.