Why Do We Dream Of An Ex?

Are you constantly dreaming about your ex? Do you think that love has stayed on your side and that you still feel something for this person? It might be, but don’t worry – there are plenty of other reasons.

Several centuries ago, Calderón de la Barca wrote that “all life is but a dream and dreams are nothing but dreams”. Life and Dream, two themes so intertwined and inseparable that one cannot exist without the other. So, in this deluge of dreaminess and reality, your ex can play an important role.

Dreaming about your ex might not be as dramatic as you think

We sometimes think that dreaming about an ex means that we still haven’t gotten over the breakup. However, this explanation is not the only one possible. In fact, there are more reasons that lead to this situation, so don’t suffer!

In general,  dreams represent aspects of our life which remain in our subconscious and to which we are not able to give solutions during the waking period. But that doesn’t mean the problem is with a relationship that hasn’t been overcome.

M hile our former appears in a dream, this does not mean that we still feel something for that person from our past . Seeing him / her in a dream does not mean that feelings continue to exist the same way.

In fact, even though dreams are dreamlike representations of our subconscious, interpreting them literally or directly would not be a good idea. They are symbolic and do not constitute a faithful reflection of our inner reality.

“To dream, in theory, is to live a little, but to live while dreaming is not to exist.”

-Jean paul Sartre-

Interpreting dreams with exes

Psychologist Marc Rodriguez considers that kissing an ex in a dream does not imply love or feelings towards that person.

On the other hand, it can be a representation of the need to feel love or to be loved. Why ? Because this person is a reference because of the weight they have had in our life. This is why it is evoked in a dream: it is a fact of life. Now, and this is quite logical, what did not happen cannot be mentioned or taken as a point of reference.

Also, tell yourself that there would be no concern about these types of dreams if people who were important to us did not interfere with them. Having said that, it can also be a warning that something is wrong. For example, the dream might indicate that the person we are now a couple with is not meeting our expectations.

In the case of celibacy, for example, dreaming of a past relationship could also represent dissatisfaction. So even though these are dreams that are usually associated with positive feelings like love, they keep holding a heavy dose of melancholy.

It is possible that our subconscious is showing us, with each of these dreamlike representations, that we suffer from certain affective deficiencies. This is why psychologist Marc Rodriguez recommends that each person have high self-esteem and surround himself with people who love and respect them.

In the meantime, close the doors that are still open

This is an obvious detail: if these kinds of dreams are repeated often, it means that we must act. Whether it is because of emotional deficiencies, current problems or because there are still unresolved tensions with our ex.

Perhaps the relationship ended badly and the resolution was not the most adequate. In fact, these dreams can present themselves as mild nightmares. In this case, it could mean that there are still themes to sort out and wounds to close to draw the line over the old ghosts.

Another point that normally contributes to the existence of this type of dreams is insecurity. It is normal, at the start of a new relationship, for us to have feelings of the past and to compare the person to our exes. Memories can therefore reappear in the form of dreams.

In this case, dreams are normally sad dreams, reflecting an insecurity transmitted by your subconscious during your sleeping hours. In fact, we could even interpret them as a signal that we are sending ourselves unconsciously to avoid making the same mistakes again.

“It’s better to dream your life than to live it, even if living it also means dreaming it.”

-Marcel Proust-

As you may have seen, dreaming about an ex doesn’t necessarily indicate that we still have feelings for him / her. Our subconscious only uses known faces to express internal sensations. So, this does not mean that there are still embers where there was a fire: they are just reflections of the past that can teach you to reflect on your present in order to live it better.

On the other hand, it is also not negative if it happens once or more times and if we are able to understand the situation reflected in the dream. In any case, don’t forget that dreams are symbolic representations that are more related to what is happening than to the “extras” that appear in them.