Some Neighbors Are Worse Than A Toothache
A bad neighbor is a nightmare that no one wants to see turn into reality. With the proliferation of residences and shared housing systems, problems between neighbors have increased dramatically. This is not a minor problem: in a few extreme cases it has even led to murder.
There are cases where war is openly declared, without a quarter. The sources of conflict are numerous: a wall with humidity, the high volume of music, an annoying pet… Any trifle can give rise to a confrontation for which we cannot determine in advance how. it will end.
Episodes of harassment between neighbors have become so frequent that psychology has already found a name for this phenomenon: “blocking”. It has a meaning similar to that of “bullying” or “mobbing”. In good French, it simply means intimidation, constraint, visceral intolerance against neighbors.
Conflicts between neighbors
The outbreak of conflict between neighbors may be futile, but what results is not. The usual thing is that those who are involved in the conflict engage in a power struggle. Everyone believes they have the right to impose their criteria on the other. There is not the slightest intention to negotiate, it is about winning.
An atmosphere of intrigue and conspiracy prevails in many communities or residences. Nuclei are formed, which act like small bands. Stories, rumors and gossip abound: “So-and-so has alcohol delivered to his house every day… Who knows what kind of person it is”… “I see so-and-so come home with a different woman every night” … It seems that sharing a place of residence gives some the right to meddle in other people’s affairs.
From gossip to conflict, there is only one step. It is not uncommon for neighbors who do not like each other end up blaming themselves for damage. Or thefts. After all, what prevails is mistrust, suspicion. The conception of the neighbor as someone being halfway between a companion and a friend and towards whom there was a notion of solidarity, is very far today. . The same is true of the idea that we can, within a residence, solve a problem without declaring open war.
Privacy and common areas
Almost no one can choose their neighbors. They are there and cease to be, by pure chance. It is true that there are many common aspects. If they live in the same building, they belong to the same social class and certainly have similar habits. Even so, some people are not satisfied with looking at others from a distance. They want them to interfere in their life and explain to them how it should be lived. Others, quite simply, do not tolerate others living the way they do .
Although it sounds incredible, it happens every day in many places where the walls of one apartment are those of another. It’s not like it used to be, when almost everyone lived in houses and annoying others was more complicated . It is not uncommon today for an alcove discussion to have spectators on the other side of the wall. The line between privacy and what is publicly shared is no longer so clear.
We feel that our house is easily invaded by the eye of the other, by the ear of the other, by the behavior of the other. This infuriates. On the other hand, most of us aspire to be able to do whatever we want in our own homes, without being judged for it. This is more difficult or directly impossible at the present time.
This is a situation that causes friction, which very often leads to conflict. However, before everything becomes hell, your best bet is to open a sincere and mature dialogue, otherwise it will be difficult to reach an agreement. In any event, before starting a war or considering a move, it will always be worth a try.
Our thoughts that we had with these people. This leads us to generate a series of social expectations regarding the behavior of each of them.
