Couple Crisis Or Permanent Breakup?
A relationship crisis is usually a difficult time. However, not all relationship crises lead to a breakup.
If it is a couple who have already gone through many crises, it is sometimes difficult to know if the couple is in a moment of uncertainty and confrontation or if they are going through a definitive break this time. bonds that turned to ashes.
There are therefore different types of couple crises and also different types of break-ups. The main difference between a crisis and a breakup is that the latter is synonymous with an end point. Before continuing, let’s finish defining these concepts.
When we talk about a couple crisis, we are referring to a situation of high tension during which a temporal distancing is generally taken. On the other side, when we talk about a breakup, we are referring to a situation of separation in which people break the bonds between them.
So there are real differences between the two situations. Sometimes the differences only materialize with the passage of time and the taking of one direction or the other. On the other hand, the fact of not knowing whether or not a crisis will end in rupture can generate a potentially agonizing and unnerving uncertainty. In this article, we will try to help you know if the situation corresponds to a relationship crisis or rather to a definitive breakup.
Different types of couple crisis
Problems are usually the most common causes of relationship seizures. These can appear after an infidelity, the birth of a child or a significant loss. All these reasons give rise to different couple crises which can be more or less long.
The crises born of an infidelity are the most complicated couple crises to overcome because infidelity generally supposes the loss of the bond of trust and complicity woven with the other. The victim feels cheated, betrayed, she can even see her self-esteem very affected and the loss of control can be externalized.
On the other hand, the couple’s crises associated with the evolution of the relationship are the easiest to live with and the least difficult to overcome. For example, we refer to crises initiated by the passage of time and the natural change in the relationship. This can happen when we start living together or when a child is born. In these cases, the bond, the union, is not affected.
Couple crisis in the face of a final break-up
The couple’s background and history says a lot about the reality of the situation: crisis or breakup. If it is a couple who have gone through many crises, there may be significant wear and tear on the relationship leading to a breakup.
Contrary to what is generally thought “ it’s just one more crisis ,” the fact that there is a series of time separations or breaks contributes to the exhaustion of the relationship. The couple therefore have the feeling of living in a kind of eternal cycle of suffering. In other words, the repeated crises generate a loss of learned defense and this can push the rupture to be final because one of the two partners will think that “ there is nothing to repair ”.
The reason for the separation is also a key aspect. The crises which are the consequence of an infidelity generally end in rupture: the deception is devastating for the confidence of the partner and the common projects. An infidelity gives rise to a relationship crisis. If it is not properly managed and in a timely manner, it can end up turning into a definitive break. The ability to forgive and rebuild can be depleted.
Thus, if the reason for the crisis is associated with problems of cohabitation or household chores, it is very likely that it will not end up completely breaking up the couple. However, if the crises are repeated and due to problems with cohabitation, we can also be in a situation of emotional exhaustion which will turn the crisis into a definitive rupture.
The reason for the separation is also a key aspect. Relationship crises that arise as the result of infidelities usually end in breaking up.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse of Relationships
When strong signals of incompatibility exist in the relationship, we may think that we are facing a definitive breakup. In this case, let’s refer to the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” that Dr. John Gottman described after years of research into relationships. These four signals are generally closely linked to final separations. We will present them to you below.
The four most important signals suggesting a definitive break are: destructive criticisms (both making and receiving them), defensive attitude, devaluation of the other, evasive attitude.
Thus, when one observes in the couple crisis the presence of one of these attitudes or communication patterns; this informs us about the difficulty of the period we are going through. It is a delicate moment which can end in a rupture.
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