What Is The Best Love?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? What is the best love? You may be asking yourself: Are there different ways of loving? Maybe not, but maybe it is. What is certain is that we love differently at different times. Depending on the time period we are in, feelings and emotions may differ.
Statistician Benjamin Disraeli said that: ““. It is quite possible that he is right. Who has not experienced that first love where the friction against the loved one seemed to burn the skin because of the passion stoked, more and more every second?
But, despite the noble romanticism that culture and custom have led us to believe regarding the magic of first love, it would seem that it is not the best. Or at least that is the opinion of certain specialists.
What is the best love, if there are several loves?
According to psychologists Cristina Callao and Robert Epstein, there are different loves. In fact, and despite the culture of passionate love, the reality is very different. What you read in romantic novels is actually a false idealization.
The psychologists cited above try to question this idea of the half, the soul mate, which we would need as an element to feel fulfilled. But, Callao believes that this option completely absorbs one of the members of the couple, who ends up losing their essence and individuality.
But while it is obvious that the strength of adolescence makes us experience our first loves in a passionate and unforgettable way, it is no less obvious that there are even better options. So this young partner, with whom we felt real happiness and whose estrangement hurt us deeply, is not the best choice.
The human brain tends to idealize what produces nostalgia in it. A famous saying that illustrates this says that “Any time spent is the best”. But this is not true. The truth is that the passionate loves of youth are often felt as a lack of serenity and security.
What is the best love? Mature love, experts say
Experts therefore consider mature love to be the best. Why ? For different reasons :
- Mature love happens when we are more educated, clear-headed people.
- Mature love is imbued with a touch of security and serenity that every human being needs.
- The affective and emotional health of an adult sweetheart is much more fruitful.
- It is a way of loving that brings benefits at the emotional, individual and couple level.
It is evident that few poets praise mature love, for it perhaps lacks the intensity of the feelings of youthful passion. However, the bond that is then created between the members of the couple is based on fullness and confidence, and not so much on emotional intensity.
-Albert Eisntein-
The risk of romantic love
Today’s society and popular culture have instilled in us a certain penchant for romantic love. Many dream of this deep and intense love that will change their life. However, it doesn’t bode well in most cases.
The idealization of romantic love prevents us from having a clean and crisp view of reality. Thus, toxic, tumultuous and painful relationships turn into a reality that many cannot let go of. According to Epstein, we are taught love in an unrealistic way, so that this idea of love is inaccessible to ordinary people. On the other hand, the programming carried out since childhood is so strong that it rarely ceases to act and leads to the repeated error of seeking a “love of film”.
But the models of idealization can change. Even though these are attitudes implicit in our brain, we have the power to shape this configuration. Thus, the learning process that begins with romantic first love can be used as an evolution to find more mature, sane, and serene loves.
“Love is a friendship with erotic moments”.
-Antonio Gala-
To conclude, psychologists recommend prioritizing feelings of attraction, respect and esteem. This is why people who are honest, empathetic, who are not constantly on the defensive, and who have a great sense of humor can form more lasting, sincere, and happy relationships. Thus, to the question “What is the best love?”, The experts answer: “Mature love”.
