Don’t Expect Anything From Anyone, Do It Yourself

We often have too high expectations of others. It is something inevitable, and a habit that we all adopt more or less frequently.

Thinking that your partner should support you in all circumstances, waiting for your family to solve your problems or for your friends to be present whenever you need them, are some of the manifestations of this phenomenon.

Having high expectations of those around us is a moral obligation for others to fulfill our desires.

It is a way of putting a brake on their freedom. What we should do is expect a lot more from ourselves.

We spend a lot of our lives waiting for things, waiting for certain events to happen and for the people around us to behave the way we want them to.

However, we are not always aware that waiting is often synonymous with “wanting”, and that it involves a little manipulation.

It is always preferable that the people who are part of our life act in total freedom and according to their own will.

If they do anything for us under these conditions, it is because they love us and are carried by real impulses from their hearts, and we must be grateful.

But if they don’t, we don’t have to worry or obsess over it.

We are the only ones who can solve our problems without having to submit to external obligations. We must face our own fears and not project them onto others.

The Dangerous Power of Expectations

“Don’t expect anything from others, do it yourself”. It is possible that this statement struck you as a little blunt.

However, we are sure that you have already identified situations in your life that this sentence can perfectly describe.

At every moment of our existence, we are expecting something from someone. And at the heart of these expectations are many hopes.  

You can develop very concrete expectations of your spouse. For example, you want him to be always with you, to be ready for anything for you, and to make you his number one priority.

However, the holidays are coming, and your partner tells you that he would like to go on vacation with his friends. A part of you is very disappointed because a part of your expectations has just collapsed, and you don’t know how to face this problem.

Does this mean that your spouse doesn’t love you? Absolutely not. It just means that you have built idealistic patterns in your mind.

In this case, the risk that your expectations will not be met is very great, because you have planned things with far too much anticipation.

We all tend to anticipate things and frequently expect something from others. When a situation goes wrong, disappointment and disillusionment arise.

In the majority of cases,  disappointment  is caused by expectations that are far too high and by hopes that had installed false certainties in our minds.

Do not take anything for granted, so your disappointment will be less. Avoid having excessive expectations and allow the people around you a little more freedom.

Conversely, place all your hopes in yourself, because you are the main protagonist of your existence.

Flee from certainties and accept the unexpected

It is not easy to accept that life is changing, that a person who loves you today may change their mind tomorrow, etc. But then, how to face all these uncertainties of everyday life? 

By maintaining balance in your life and being its main protagonist, you will gain a lot of self-confidence.

You are the only person who can resolve your own fears and fill in your blanks.

Do not impute this obligation to anyone and do not make the people around you the slaves of your expectations. You have to solve your own problems yourself.

Let those who love you go free, without any submission, and they will do things for you if they want to.

If they don’t, don’t be angry and resent, let them be who they are.

On your side, be a little more yourself: learn, try to gain confidence and maturity, and build your happiness by respecting others.

Expect a lot from yourself and live in harmony with others. 

Image: Viccolatte