Manipulative People: Four Characteristics
Manipulative people suffer and make others suffer. Because of their way of being, it is not easy to live with them. Also, when they are nearby, it can be difficult to be good with yourself.
Sketching out their “modus operandi” is easy. Understanding their gears, on the other hand, is a much more complex task. Perhaps the first aspect that we can improve on this profile is our ability to recognize it. In this way, we can help people who are suffering from their effects and, at the same time, protect ourselves.
1. Narcissism
Narcissism is characterized by an inordinate love for one’s own person. People with these characteristics believe that they are better than others. This thought is maintained thanks to different strategies, such as the one which consists in taking into account only the comparisons from which they derive benefits. It is as if they are removing the empty part of a glass that is half full or half empty.
One of the areas where it is easier to identify these people is dialogue. Instead of being interested in what their interlocutor is telling them, they ignore it and are only interested in their own narration. The other therefore does not feel listened to in the majority of cases.
On the other hand, in their own minds, manipulative people have a life full of emotions. When we speak with them, it’s common to see them recount that moment when they behaved like heroes. While this trait isn’t necessarily a symptom of this personality type, it can be extremely revealing along with all of the others that follow.
2. Machiavellianism
Machiavellianism is a personality trait that refers to a very concrete tendency: to treat others as if they were instruments or means and not as ends. Not to make someone suffer may be a goal, but it will always be a secondary goal if we compare it to the possibility of advancing towards goals that have been determined. Some strategies are therefore usual, such as lying or emotional blackmail.
When we face a person who fits this profile, we have the feeling that we are not doing what we really want. In general, the other convinced us to act in a determined way. In the long run, this deteriorates the relationship and makes it superficial.
3. Need to be superior
Manipulative people can’t stand to see someone pull away. They will therefore do their utmost to be the center of attention. If necessary, they will not hesitate to make the other person feel bad in order to continue to shine in a social environment.
For example, it is not uncommon to hear one of these individuals criticize others in a subtle way. In the long run, this can cause insecurities in people who have to interact with a manipulator.
Also, if manipulative people feel like someone is robbing them of their place in a group, they will feel extremely bad. They will therefore do everything in their power to receive the attention of others again. They will tell a story, speak louder …
4. Jealousy
Another important characteristic of manipulative people is that they can’t stand others succeeding where they have failed. This is related to the need to be superior to others.
So, when a friend manages to achieve a goal, it would be normal to be happy for them and to congratulate them. However, a manipulative person will feel a lot of rage when they see that they have achieved their goal. She will therefore not hesitate to criticize him, to minimize what he has done, to move away from it …
What to do with manipulative people?
As you can see, cohabiting with a manipulative person can really be difficult. In general, the relationships they create with others are toxic. However, the level of discomfort they cause will depend on their degree of manipulation.
When faced with an individual of this type, there are only two possible behaviors: accept it and try to minimize the damage or end the relationship. Both of these answers are perfectly acceptable. However, you have to realize what is really going on in order to be able to make a good decision.
In the end, if you live with a manipulative person, the most important thing is that you know how to set certain limits. If someone is manipulating you or making you feel bad to get over you, is there a real need for that person to stay in your life?
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