Mature Love, Or When Our First Love Is Not The First One We Experience

Sometimes our first love is not the first we experience ; there are certain relationships that we live in middle age, and which allow us to discover magical people and that we did not expect to meet in whose arms we like to take refuge, because we feel good near them and their kisses taste like sugar, but also fire. Mature love does not take age into account; it is dignified, vital and energizing.

Most of the time, in the event that such an important relationship is formed in middle age, one of the couple then thought that the doors of love had been closed to him forever. Sometimes, we accumulate love failures so sad that we feel that our heart is walled in stone, and that it has fallen to the bottom of a deep well.

Mature loves arrive at the middle of life; we experience them with people who are free, calm in their hearts and rich in their thoughts, because their faces dance with smiles and the desire to continue to love. Sometimes the first great love doesn’t come first.

It is also important to point out that not all of us are capable of building mature, conscious and happy love; you can only do it from the age of 50 or 60. Many bitter hearts have not yet served their sentences, nor been able to make this inner journey of forgiving, and to experience past experiences of renewed paths that can be taken with illusion.

Because personal maturity has nothing to do with the years or the penalties suffered, but depends on the attitude adopted as well as this wisdom of the emotions which not all have. We invite you to reflect on this subject.

When we arrive at this age where the decades have brought in us more stories than we can tell, we sometimes look like ripe fruit that is slightly damaged. However, we must never forget that ripe fruits have a much sweeter and more pleasant flavor than overly green and slightly bitter fruits.

Our experiences are not a burden, on the contrary; no one should be the result of their disappointments, failures, let alone injuries inflicted by others. We are our experiences; this is why mature love adds a dose of wisdom to feelings, because we can then build something that really matters: happy presents, worthy and passionate presents where the two members of the couple can discover each other. ‘other.

Neither member gives up his past; both are accepted simply, as are accepted bare skin marked by a few scars, a few wrinkles left by time on these faces and these perfectly imperfect bodies where, of course, decades or disappointments do not matter either. Only the pleasure of the present moment.

Francesco Alberoni is a famous sociologist specializing in emotional relations. According to him, the human being has not really understood what are the mechanisms of genuine and lasting love. Many of us let ourselves be carried away by this chemical shipwreck that is love, passion, the need for others, but few manage to understand that to love is above all to know how to build.

Love has no age, for the heart has no wrinkles; love is intense, pure, and always young.

Mature couples know all too well what it is to be in love ; this is the reason why what the members of these couples want at this stage of their life is something much deeper, but also much more delicate. They aspire to intimacy, to the complicity of looks that need words to be understood. They want to enjoy common spaces while also respecting each other’s individuality, and forging a bond as strong as it is noble on which to work and invest every day for this implicit but well and truly present pact: love.

Erich Fromm said that loving is an art. It’s not just a pleasant relationship, the one that undoubtedly allows us to fall in love, hence the fact that we need to do almost nothing, only to feel, to let ourselves be carried away, to breathe, to dream and to let yourself fall into the meanders of desire.

Loving is an art since it requires effort; it is like giving shape to a sculpture or to a canvas where each brushstroke is essential to give perspective, body and beauty to the work. Mature love, the one that comes when youth is then a thing of the past, is quite capable of tracing every movement with subtle perfection, for it is a good craftsman of emotions. Because we no longer need to prove anything, and we know very well what we want.

Genuine people build authentic, full, and satisfying loves. It doesn’t matter then that first love doesn’t come first. Finally, life always has a wonderfully chaotic touch; the best that we can do is let ourselves be carried away, while moving forward with illusion and the heart always on, always young.