Nobody Is Better Than Another

I was rebellious in my own way, because of certain things, justified or not. I have made some forgivable mistakes and some that are hard to swallow.

I changed forgiveness with the hope that what was done will be forgotten, thanks to the inertia that occurs when we accumulate memories. 

I put myself in impossible situations, without need, and  the worst consequences of these complications into which I was dragged, were paid for by people around me and from whom I accepted help.

I have lost the north more than once, but also the south, the east and the west. I opened my hands and dropped everything, haphazardly.

I’m talking about important things, which leave scars, those which are difficult to leave and which come back often.

What is the use of fixing your mistakes?

I had the opportunity to find what I had lost, but out of pride, I did not want to get it back. 

J e scratched myself and I got bitten,  and it’s a pain with which I have to suffer my pain because it’s me, and only me, who am at fault.

This is why I tell you that usually our ineptitude hurts ourselves first, and then others.

I would be missing mental boxes if I wanted to order all the times I did not meet my goals.

I don’t know how many times I drank the drink of defeat, the worst drink you drink when you are young.

Disappointments always hurt with the same anger, even if we accumulate different kaleidoscopes to look at them.

So I look forward …

Sometimes when I stop and look ahead, I realize that I still have a lot of disappointments to go through. What keeps me alive is that there is so much more to go through.

From a very young age, we have been given evaluations of our work, we learn to compare ourselves with others and we are in constant competition.

Later, we learn that we have started life badly and that no one is comparable to anyone. In fact, no one is better than another, nor his life and his experiences.

Then you begin to understand that if you have no other remedy than to be yourself, it is worth believing in yourself.

But even though…

When I understood this, the harshness of my disappointments increased a few degrees.

I could no longer blame anyone since I had decided to take my responsibilities.

I stopped palliative care and tried to learn as much as I could about the defeats.

I located the center of gravity of my emotions inside of me, and I started to be more emotionally stable.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, because in reality we don’t know the future, but so far I believe that I have deserved to do this exercise of honesty.

You can ask anyone you want for advice, you can find out if the path has a lot of climbs or descents, or ask the sky where the wind is blowing.

Analyze the circumstances, one by one and calmly, but then choose the direction yourself.

So when you have to do the math, whether it’s a victory or a defeat, you will experience it in all its intensity.
You will never have a disappointment again.