Side Benefits Of Anxiety
What we call side benefits of anxiety are above all the benefits that this condition provides. How does anxiety generate benefits? Strange as it may sound, it is so: if we allow a feeling of unpleasure to settle in us and maintain it, it is because it brings us something. In an unhealthy way, sure, but all the same. If not, it would be easier for us to seek or find a way to get rid of this torment.
Just because there are secondary gains related to anxiety doesn’t mean that those gains are, on the whole, positive for us. It just means that sometimes people take unhealthy paths to adjust to reality. Usually, we don’t realize it. Despite everything, we manage to come to terms with and somehow take advantage of this situation.
We can perhaps better understand this with the help of an example. Suppose a person becomes homeless. So she decides to make an improvised tent in an open and solitary space. If she continues, she may look for a way to incorporate some “comforts” into her place of residence.
She may be able to get some cardboard to better protect herself from the cold, and may even begin to “furnish” the place. She will not have to pay tax or rent for the place she occupies. This person will not have solved their real basic housing problem, but they will still benefit, as best they can, from the situation. It’s the same with the side benefits of anxiety.
The main side benefits of anxiety
It is clear that anxiety is a condition that breeds suffering. The reasonable thing would then be to seek and find a way to overcome it. However, the human being is not only right. There is a series of unconscious factors, which present themselves as irrational, and which lead to persisting even in emotional pain. The person does not seek to experience constant anxiety, but once they settle in, things that were not planned start to happen.
For example, it is very common for the anxious person to receive special attention from those around him. They may consider her “nervous” or too sensitive, or something like that. Therefore, unintentionally, she actually receives more attention, and perhaps even consideration, from others. This inadvertently reinforces the negative state in which she finds herself. This is how the secondary benefits of anxiety operate.
The greater attention of others is not the only thing you get. Anxiety can also become an excuse not to face the world and form a bubble of protection. Also to explain a multitude of behaviors of neglect, abandonment or idleness. Likewise, to justify insignificance, lack of responsibility and childishness. “ I am very anxious and that is why I cannot… “.
Avoid fears and achieve what you want
Anxiety can become a way of achieving exactly what you want. This state acts as a shield against the decision to face the real fears that all human beings must face one day or another. Fear of being alone, of being rejected, of saying “no”, of looking for and finding work to manage on your own, etc. We all feel some anxiety about these situations. The thing to do is find a way to overcome it.
This is not the only way to harness the side benefits of anxiety to achieve what you want. As we noted earlier, the attention of others, the ability to settle into a comfort zone that no one questions, the option to justify our false outings, etc. constitute a golden bridge in order not to assume certain responsibilities.
It is important to stress that this is not done on purpose. The one who suffers from anxiety is in real pain and does not consciously make plans to take advantage of this situation. All of this happens unconsciously and continues unconsciously, because in the end it brings benefits.
The problem is that we manage to organize a whole life project around anxiety, the refusal to grow up and to deprive ourselves of many positive experiences. Like the man who has nowhere to live and ends up living forever in a precarious place. Therefore, the solution is not to accept that anxiety is already an inseparable part of ourselves. On the contrary, this state can be overcome. If a person cannot do it on their own, then it is appropriate to seek professional help.
Our thoughts Anxiety is expressed in various ways, and its manifestations have in common that the feeling of fear or apprehension is totally exaggerated.
