Some People Constantly Blame Others
“If bad things happen to me, it’s always other people’s fault”, “Others are responsible for all my misfortunes. I have nothing to do with it ”. Does this kind of talk mean anything to you? Are these sentences that you have already said, or a speech that someone around you often gives?
Some people are unable to take responsibility for their actions. When we are not able to assume that the one who directs our life, the one who chooses, the one who acts, it is oneself … it will then be all the more difficult to take the initiative to take the reins of its destiny. In these cases, there is always someone to blame for all our misfortunes: of course, always someone other than us.
She’s my mate, she’s my sister-in-law, she’s that person I knew… The range is wide. As wide as you want it to be. The most limiting blindness is that which consists in not being able to assume this part which belongs to us, which fortunately belongs to us, and which is not that of others or of chance. The most absolute refusal and the most stubborn persuasion that the one who is “guilty” of the bad things that happen to me is always the other.
Some people are real experts when it comes to doing everything to justify what they say to themselves, namely that the responsibility for what has happened to them that is negative is not theirs. They have no trouble falling into self-deception, in part because they are so used to it that they do it almost unconsciously. However, self-deception remains an important limit which blurs reality and makes it less and less clear. More chaotic, more hostile.
We lose the north when we shift our responsibility onto others. When we act capriciously. When we feel frustrated that the other cannot respond to our requests as we would like, because they cannot or will not. And this is not our war. The other is free to act as they see fit. And we, we owe it to ourselves to act accordingly.
These people spend a lot of their time complaining. They are even characterized by complaint, can complain down to the most insignificant detail. They are absolutely unable to digest the frustration, and become the real tyrants of their kingdom. The worst part of all of this is that by adopting such behavior, they not only begin to hurt themselves, but also eventually hurt the ones they love.
We must do everything to know ourselves, we must dig into ourselves and realize that our gray areas are unique to us and that they do not belong to others or depend on them. Knowing yourself and accepting yourself, in a way, is the first step in achieving change. If we are not aware of our needs, our impulses and we are not able to explain where our actions come from, then it will be difficult to seek and find a solution.
If by any chance someone did not take these people into account as they would have liked, then they will make whims as if they were children, they will seek to draw attention to themselves, and they will do anything to be done. notice at all costs. All, or almost all, means are good, and for them, anything goes. The other must see them as they see fit, if by misfortune they did not give them what they need, then they become enraged and angry. They wish the other all the misfortune in the world and make him / her guilty of all their frustration, or even if they can, blame the other so as not to be disappointed again.
Frustration arises when the other does not give up everything to meet their needs. However, on the other hand, sometimes the people around them manage to solve their problems so quickly that they do not even realize that they have asked for help, and that it has been given to them. In addition, according to them, they do not have to be grateful to anyone, since the other was somehow obligated to respond to their requests and satisfy their needs.
These people do not perceive the other as a whole being, but as a slave who must satisfy their need for tyranny. I order and you obey my orders. And if you don’t obey it, then I’ll take care of making you feel guilty and responsible for my misfortune. This is the implicit way of thinking of these people.
It is only by recovering all the arrows that we have been able to throw at others that we can be more aware of the situations, and remedy this disabling blindness that can characterize us when we never assume our responsibility or our wrongs, this starting point of all communication with the outside on which we have built our mental schemas. What we are talking about here is a habit that is difficult to break, which matures over time, and which can only be gotten rid of with the right help.
