The 4 Most Common Self-esteem Problems
Our experiences gradually shape and develop our self-esteem, both positively and negatively. The evaluation that we make of our way of being and of all the traits that configure our “me” influences our well-being. This is why it is important not to put aside the problems of self-esteem.
Self-esteem is one of the pillars of our vital functioning. It is the engine that makes us feel good or bad. It is therefore necessary to take extreme care of it. However, sometimes the experiences, perceptions, comparisons or messages we receive can play a trick on us and influence the way we see ourselves. Now let’s see what are the 4 problems of self-esteem and discover our advice to face them.
The 4 most common self-esteem issues
Have a negative image of ourselves
Our eyes are the first mirror in which we look at ourselves. A realistic view of ourselves must take into account the positive aspects (virtues) as well as the negative (faults).
If we put “opaque glasses” on our eyes, we will not let the light pass and we will only focus on our flaws. On the other hand, if we are able to change glasses, the perception and the idea that we have of ourselves will change. We cannot just be an old rag full of holes. Also, how are we going to see the bright side of life if we are not able to see all the good things that are in us?
When gray and black rule our lives, maybe it means that we have to explore other colors, other alternatives …
Not being sure of our actions and our thoughts
It is said that doubting is a matter of the wise, but when we continually question our ideas or actions, insecurity can trap us. If we get used to doubting our abilities and our actions, we will deprive ourselves of worth. However, by doing this, our self-esteem will drop sharply.
Loving ourselves means having confidence in ourselves. To firmly believe in our values and principles and to be prepared to defend them. It also means making things right when we are wrong.
Waiting for others to approve of what we want to do or even what we think is absolutely wrong. Often people don’t know what we want or have different priorities. So why not take a risk and start being ourselves? By doing this, we will stop being vulnerable in the eyes of others and start practicing authenticity.
The impossibility of accepting us
One of the main problems with self-esteem is a lack of personal acceptance. When we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to recognize our good qualities and accept our mistakes and feelings, we don’t accept ourselves as we are.
If we do not succeed in fitting together the different parts that make us up, our self-esteem will no longer have any strength and will be shattered into a thousand pieces. Our personal development will be limited, as will our relationships.
What is wrong with discovering yourself? Accepting yourself implies the possibility of continuing to grow and, moreover, opens the doors to transformation and change. Carl Jung had already said “What you deny submits. What you accept transforms you. ”
The frequent presence of negative feelings
We all have times when we have negative or unresolved feelings, even if we are not fully aware of them. Constant negative feelings indicate problems with self-esteem and can be expressed in many ways:
- Generalized lack of appetite for the joy of living
- Inability to see the positive side
- Self-hatred
- Anxiety
- Sudden or exaggerated mood swings
- Neurotic guilt
- Exaggerated reactions
- Hypersensitivity and / or hyperactivation
- Incapacity
- Self-destruction
- Chronic indecision
- Perfectionism
So, it is important to review the image we create of our being from the way we feel. Indeed, if we feel bad, it will be much more negative than if we feel positive feelings. For example, shame can immobilize us, anger can tense us up, and sadness can lead us to neglect and unease.
Self-esteem is the backbone of our “me”
Self-esteem issues can drift into defeat and failure if we are not careful. Working on our emotional intelligence will help us manage and improve the way we judge ourselves.
Values, customs, appreciations and acceptance are some of the factors that influence our way of being and acting. Also, what we believe others think of us is very decisive. Creating a consciousness to properly work our self-esteem will facilitate the realization of our dreams and, above all, will allow us to achieve well-being. Let us not forget that loving yourself is the beginning of everything.
