The Aftermath Of An Absent Mother
Feeling a mother’s warmth, caring and affection upon coming into the world, is perhaps one of the greatest needs a human being can experience throughout their life. There will be few things that we will need more of. Indeed, the first fear that we know is the fear of losing her, of having an absent mother who does not come to help us when we need it. If this is so, nothing in the world will be able to compensate for it.
We are able to accept and endure whatever she does during the first moments of our life. We can forgive her in the blink of an eye if she criticizes us harshly or devalues us. Besides, we don’t even dare to question the way she treats us. We even tend to blame ourselves for triggering his anger. We fear above all, during these first years, that she will leave us.
An absent mother
Some people reach adulthood by feeling terrified in any situation where they have to be alone. When there is no one at home, for example. So that a well of anguish opens in them in which they feel that they are drowning. These people are often charming. They have indeed learned that they must “behave well” and do what others expect. But they are like terrified children who succumb to fear when alone.
The absence of the mother could also be the cause of many sleep and eating disorders. Maybe the mother wanted her baby to eat and sleep, and handled him without offering him an unconditional presence. Not sleeping and not eating could sometimes be a way to upset her. To make him pay a debt, even if in the end the child is the one who pays the price.
A mother who is absent frequently and for long periods can induce a strong state of anxiety in her child. Fear appears when she leaves, but also when she returns because the child does not know when she will leave. Some mothers use this fear to “control” their children. They threaten to abandon them when they do not obey. The child has no escape if he does not have a good enough mother.
The after-effects of an absent mother
The child who lives with an absent mother develops behavior towards him that follows a typical sequence: protest, despair and estrangement. Absence does not trigger affection. She makes the emotions go crazy. It ends up blocking romantic feelings. This absence can further generate a muffled hatred for having been subjected to this fatal vicious cycle of wanting and losing over and over again.
An absent mother can give birth to distant, angry and sad human beings. Their children learn little by little and with a burning soul that they finally have to face the world on their own.
Thus, children sometimes wear masks to survive this situation which they feel is very dangerous. The mask of the sympathetic, the obedient, the terror of the neighborhood, the insensitive … It will be difficult for them to recognize, in adulthood, what lies behind this false personality that they have invented to do. in the face of abandonment.
Trust in others is what ultimately gets lost with an absent mother. Also, the hope that someone can meet our needs or even love us. So that the person will try to love, in adulthood, by creating bonds of absolute dependence, which will fail again and again.
In addition, relationships with others sometimes remain full of suspicion, or demand impossible behaviors from others. An absent mother leaves behind a human being who learns to establish bonds full of anger, anxiety and above all mistrust.
Our thoughts Full-time mothers devote themselves exclusively to their children because they mean everything to them. However, setting up habits to cons …
