To Have Is Not To Have, Because To Have Is Not To Love
Even today, many people confuse owning with true love, and they are terribly wrong. Has owning in a relationship ever worked? Why does it cause problems if we think so?
Today we are going to discover the great differences that exist between having, possessing, and what is or is not related to love. Let’s go!
To have someone is not to have
Although at first we believed that having and possessing are related, in reality when it comes to relationships there is a great chasm between these two terms.
Having someone does not in any way imply any possession, and we must be well aware of this.
Having someone means that we have a special someone by our side without them having to.
We love and desire this person, but we know they are free. She offers us her company, she loves us, she shares her life with us, but she does so in a completely free way.
There are people who believe they have other people, for the simple reason that they want to be with them.
They don’t understand that people are not objects, that they have no obligation to stay with them forever. They are free !
Owning, on the other hand, very often involves insecurity, because as we have said, people are not objects. People come and go, come in and out of our life.
Even though we rely on them in our life, we cannot hold them back because they do not belong to us.
To own is not to love. To own is not to be sure of yourself, it is to be afraid, it is to want to catch up with what you cannot hold back.
Confuse love with possession
How do you know when you confuse love with possession? One of the most common emotions is jealousy.
When a person is excessively jealous, he wants to own his mate or mate.
She may have a misconception of what love is, or she may not know that she is afraid of something that is not justified.
But if we dig a little deeper into this topic, we may come across much more difficult situations that include abuse, both psychological and physical, which affects a lot of relationships.
Abuse is nothing more than another form of possession, a way of marking our territory, of having power.
This is why confusing love with possession is not just a trivial matter, because it leads to unpleasant situations that destroy relationships and, above all, people.
But… why do we come to these extremes? Why is it so hard not to own others?
Maybe it’s because of all those love stories we’ve seen that always promise happy endings.
Or perhaps the phrase “and they lived happily ever after” is the simple, embellished, and perfect description of true possession.
Free love, perfect love
How many times have you started a relationship and realized that it could end sooner than you wanted?
Do promises of eternal love and the hope of growing old together pervade your minds? Without realizing it, you predispose yourself to suffer.
We do not know how to be in a relationship without feeling the need to possess the other, to have him for ourselves, to worry about the fact that he is interested in other people, to start to be wary that he can leave us.
What is our reaction? We get angry, we are jealous and we struggle to make sure that he is all ours.
We have to open our minds, let go of this love-possession relationship that has gone out of fashion.
Now we see this love-possession without the feeling of belonging.
We have this person who shares our life, but we do not own him, because he is free.
Believing that we cannot live without our spouse is a lie that we repeat to ourselves over and over again.
How many times have you thought this about a relationship that then ended?
Maybe we are constantly dramatizing the reality of relationships when we should be more realistic.
But we love believing in happy endings and romantic movies, which only show us a small part of what really happens.
How do you see the relationships? Is it difficult for you to love without owning? We should just think about it and start changing our perception.
Love should be synonymous with happiness and freedom, not suffering or possession.
