What Is Egotism?
The term egotism is not, although it may seem surprising to us, synonymous with selfishness. True, it was used in a similar sense in pre-19th century literature, but in the field of psychology its current meaning is different (though also related to the concept of “ego”, “me”) , the egoist being the one who “pays excessive attention to his own interests, regardless of the interests of others”.
According to Larousse, egotism is “the exaggerated feeling of one’s personality, and, in particular, mania for talking about oneself, cult of the ego; narcissism ”. The Wiktionary also tells us that egotism is “the refined enjoyment of one’s own person; cult of self, excessive interest in one’s own personality and its development ”. It could also be described as an insatiable desire to show others one’s importance, whether or not the ego has reason to claim such importance (although it often does not).
The egoist is a person who does not pay attention to what is going on around him, nor to the needs of the people who live with him, because he considers that his own affairs and his needs are superior to those of others: his lack of empathy causes him to see others as a means to an end (his end). Extreme egotism is also a hallmark of Type B personality disorders, which are primarily histrionic and narcissistic.
The traits of the egotistical personality
The egoist has excessive self-confidence and self-esteem
Having confidence in oneself is a necessary attitude, without a doubt, to walk the road to success. On the other hand, overdo it and you will become presumptuous, someone who assumes that everyone is wrong, and who is unable to recognize the accomplishments of others.
The egoist loves himself. A lot… and from time to time he makes jokes like “ I don’t deny it: there are times when I talk to myself… because sometimes I need the advice of an expert ”. He’ll say it with a laugh, but it’s no joke for him. In short, egotism prevents us from learning more about ourselves, so why bother to change when we think we are perfect? In this sense, it is important to remember that, in the words of Jillian Michaels, “a bad day for your ego is a good day for your soul”.
The egoist lives in fantastic worlds
The egoist spends a lot of time thinking about the great things he imagines he will accomplish in the future, in projects more based on the impression of others than on reality. Even when they have a real basis, he beautifies them to increase the interest of others in what he says. In general, they tend to exaggerate and dramatize most aspects of their life.
The egoist has a “difficult” personality
An egotist only takes into account his view of things and demands that others act accordingly. An egotist has a habit of believing that he knows exactly how things should be done and how others should behave. When things don’t go “as they should be,” the resulting feeling of loss of control is likely to make you angry and defensive.
These are people who do not take “no” for an answer, who take disagreement as aggression and who are able to disturb the peace of those around them, until everything goes according to their wishes again.
The egoist has low self-esteem
It seems contradictory to the above, but it isn’t : these are people who try to hide their own insecurity (and avoid the rejection they believe it brings) by presenting themselves as more competent. than they really are. They try, until exhaustion, to maintain an image which they believe to be perfect. Above all, they try to never lose control of the situation or, ultimately, not to make others feel like they are losing it.
Egotism in Gestalt therapy
But egotism is also one of the neurotic mechanisms considered by Gestalt therapy: its main function is to increase and strengthen the frontier of contact by the narcissistic enlargement of the ego. That is to say, by means of a defensive increase of the “I”, to the detriment of the other.
This mechanism is facilitated by Gestalt therapy during the therapeutic process, while the person becomes responsible for his needs. In other words, for a while, this would – according to this trend – be a necessary step to reduce inhibition and encourage self-sufficiency. However, this is a mechanism that must be dissolved at the end of the therapeutic process.
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