When Complaining Plunges You Into A Downward Spiral
If there is a solution to your problem, why are you complaining? If he doesn’t, why are you complaining?
(Eastern proverb)
How many times a day do you complain? Stop for a moment and think about it …
Each of us usually has a few complaints in and of ourselves that are just waiting to come out. We complain about the job, about our spouse, about a friend, about the last restaurant we went to… The list goes on and on.
In our society, complaining has become an addiction. However, once we have cleared away anything that was not looking right to us, we return to our routine, as the complaint slowly fades into oblivion.
However, some people make the complaint their lifestyle. Not a day goes by that they can’t find something to lament about.
So, some occasionally complain to get free (like an exhaust valve), while others complain daily, making this behavior essential to their lives. In this way, let us focus today on the negative aspect.
If you think about it, the downward spiral of complaints gets you nowhere. On the contrary, it paralyzes you. Psychologist Joan Garriga even asserts that “ complaining decreases life expectancy ”.
Complaining does not change a situation, a person or a thing. This only points out that the reality is not for you.
Complaining doesn’t solve anything. Certainly, if this is occasional and allows you to free yourself, the result is effective. On the other hand, if it becomes repetitive over time, it will not bring you any solution.
Maybe you think that because you complain a lot things will look different? Or that everything will magically resolve itself?
Sometimes complaining also reveals a lack of responsibility for people and situations, and allows you to victimize yourself.
We are sure that there is someone around you who complains about their situation but who does nothing to change it. On the contrary, she only talks about herself and focuses on the negative, without looking for any solution or alternative.
It should be remembered that when you complain, you blame others or the circumstances of your misfortune. You take no responsibility, as if your well-being depends on the outside. You then place yourself as a victim of your reality.
To complain is to refuse to accept that you have power, it is to prevent yourself from accepting and assuming reality, it is to remain paralyzed and freeze the future.
Moreover, when someone has a daily habit of complaining, it is because behind it there is some benefit. It is therefore necessary to observe what is behind these complaints and to identify this hidden need.
By complaining, you are showing that things did not go the way you would have liked, or that the other did not act the way you would hope, and you are asking for these things to be resolved.
However, a complaint is not resolved from the outside, but inside each of us.
There is no point in complaining if behind you do not do everything to find solutions or alternatives. Sometimes it is enough just to ask yourself, observe and understand what just happened.
It is your decision to direct your energy either to live or to die slowly.
Asking yourself sincerely why you are complaining so much will allow you to discover this deep need within you.
Today there is an initiative on the Internet that offers to stop complaining about little everyday things. The authors of this movement, Thierry Blancpain and Pieter Pelgrims, express the importance of the benefits obtained when you stop complaining for a month.
According to them, you will not only be happier, but you will also learn to communicate with those around you.
And you ? Could you go a whole month without complaining? If we are able to discover our freedom in slavery, we can also find our happiness or well-being under the cover of victimization.
